Thankful?

Thanksgiving is only 5 days away.  I've usually made my menu list, my shopping list, and I should be done purchasing all the necessary items for a spectacular holiday meal.  But I haven't done more than think about how big (or small) of a turkey I need for this year.  Seems like with time my holiday is getting smaller... rather than larger.

Lately, more than ever you have filled my thoughts and weighed down my heart.  I cant help but think that we should be talking on the phone... finalizing what you will bring.  I still want you to walk through my door early on Thanksgiving Day ready to mash the potatoes and help me put the food on the table.  This will be the 4th holiday season since you left.  I miss you SO much Mom. 

Ian talks about you.  He remembers your hugs and how you always had a cookie for him when we came to visit.  Anna has a solo this year at the Festival of Trees.  I know you'd be there, front row, clapping the loudest.

I think a lot about you and the life you had.  I realize now how hard it must've been... a single mother ... alone with her two children.  I have so many questions...that only you can answer.  I sure could use a word or two of wisdom from you... something for a little strength. 

I hope you have the peace you deserve.  I feel you with me and I know you have kept me out of more than one mess.   I love you and always will... Happy Thanksgiving Mom.