Sissy's Song

"It's hard to say goodbye

Her picture in my mind

They'll always be of times I'll cherish

And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees

And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting

And I know she's smiling saying

Don't worry about me"

~Alan Jackson

memories

i thought of you today.

i think of you often.

i still see your smile and it takes away my fear.

what i wouldn't give for one more day .... for one more hour .... even for one more minute.

isn't it sad how we take 'now' for granted. there is always tomorrow to say what we need to say. there is always another day to ask questions, to learn, to share ... and then one day there isn't.

i use to think i was so independant. i use to think i was such a strong woman. i use to think i could conquer the world. and then you were gone. and then i learned how much you held me up.

how did you do it? how did you give me strength? how did you make me into the woman i am without me ever knowing it was you?

i think of your struggles and i think of your challenges and mostly i think of your sacrifices. you never complained even when you had every reason to.

oh how i wish i could hear you tell me all that i'm doing wrong and all that i'm doing right. i wish i could ask the hundreds of questions that fill my mind. i wish i had known then that you wouldn't always be here.

i didn't know how lost i could feel... until you were gone.

so today ... as the country celebrates the men and women who fight for our country. on this day, Memorial Day ... i honor you Mom. For all that you gave, for all that you are, for being my mother.

I love you

Faith & Hope

Faith is the belief in something more that what you know....



Hope is the desire and search for a future good...



It is a brand new day today - full of possibilities. It is with faith and hope that I take on the challenges that await. In this day I will believe in all that is good.

I have two amazing children who give me strength and keep me grounded ... and for them I carry on with optimism and determination.

Today will be a good day.

today

Today...

I weeded the garden ... I planted the flowers... I fixed the sprinklers... I painted ... I cleaned ... such a busy day and yet I could not stop the the many thoughts that filled my head.

While I realize that life is a great adventure, I wonder what what it would be like for once to know the end before the beginning. Everything we do, each decision we make, ultimately creates now. Sometimes now is a great place and other times now can be difficult ... if we knew the end would we still choose the path? Or is the journey truly what it's about? Getting from there to here we share ourselves with those along the way ... we learn from them and we teach them ... and we take the best of what we find and intertwine it with the best of us that already exists ... thus helping us grow, helping us be better, making us who we are.

I wish I knew how to share my deepest thoughts, my wildest dreams, my dearest hopes ...

but wishes are only wishes ... and reality is now.

Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow I will be stronger, tomorrow I will brave .... tomorrow is only a day away....

I stood at the bottom of the stairs today and listened to my children's laughter. It reminded me of how simple things are when we are young. How does that get lost? When do we lose the innocence and simplicity?

Life is so fleeting... one minute you are playing with Barbie dolls and then next your trying to figure out how to navigate the ever changing sea of life. And in my case you failed to take a water safety class!

Just when you think you've made it to solid ground the sand beneath your feet gives way and you fall to your knees.

I wish I had the answers. I wish I knew the right things to say. I wish I knew the 'right' choices to make. I am not strong; I am not wise. I am simply a woman who faces each day hoping to make it better than the last. I live to love my children and can only hope the path before me will clear and I'll find my way to the right place and time... find my way to where I am suppose to be.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs today and listened to my children's laughter. Their affection for each other and their happiness in a simple game brought a tear to my eye and smile to my heart. So perhaps this is exactly where I am suppose to be....

True Strength

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do.

But to hold it together

when everyone else would understand

if you fell apart,

that's true strength!"

~Author Unknown