April Fool

April Fool's ... but who is the real fool?

I knew my prank would not fool those who really know me.  I knew the only to be taken in would be those who know of me but do not know who I am or what I stand for... so why would I do it?  Perhaps because I want it to be true? Am I so in need of attention that I'd take an canned congrats from an acquaintance knowing I am not in a place to accept a sincere one from family/friends?

Have I made the right choices?  Am I on the right path?  Am I where I am suppose to be?

I had the biggest scare yesterday... lost Anna at Liberty Park... she simply walked away... and I missed it.  It was only a few minutes... yet felt like a lifetime.  I circled the play ground 3 or 4 times.  I looked in tunnels and behind rocks, I called her name, I asked strangers if they'd seen her... Every horrible scenario played thru my mind.  And then she was there.. on the swings, sailing high into the air, with her beautiful smile...

It was in this moment I doubted everything in my life.  Who am I to think I can do this, alone?  If I had someone else with me, to help watch both kids, to keep me calm, to tell me all would be ok...

April Fool's -- who is the fool? I believe it is me....