How do you forgive?

6 days into the New Year and I already find myself struggling to let go of old grudges.

My dear brother calls me everyday - 4-5 times a day.  That is not an exaggeration... in fact it may be higher.  Since Christmas he calls me everyday to come pick up a Christmas gift he has for me.  I rarely answer when he calls.  And even after telling him how sick I'd been he still calls several times a day... asking when I will come.... you may be thinking what a bad sister I am... but I ask you -- how do I forgive him?

He is my big brother... he was suppose to watch out for me... he was suppose to protect me and be there for me.  But he is not. No one is.  He was not there for me growing up ... and when Mom was sick he was not there.  I was alone... I had to make the tough choices... I had to make the hard decisions... where was he then?

How do I forgive him for failing me?  He left me ... alone.  I have not seen him since Mom died.  He did not come to the funeral... he does not help me.. he rarely calls me.  I am so sad and disappointed that I am left by myself... I just dont know if I can forgive him.  For once in my life it is NOT ok and I can NOT let it go.  For once in my life it IS about me!!!

2012 --> 2013

Good Morning 2013!

I look to 2013 with hope and optimism - this will be my year -- I just know it!

To welcome the new I must let go of the old.  2012 brought me many lessons... a few trials, some tears and a lot of smiles.

From the beaches of Cabo to hiking at the top of Heavenly - I had some great adventures.  I am continually in awe at my friends and their unwavering love and support.  My children continue to be my Northern Star.  When I feel lost or alone they remind me of who I am and what is important.  

Many people beginning the new year with resolutions and promises of change.  As for me I choose to start 2013 with the promise of remaining the same.  I promise to be the same woman who values time spent with family and friends.  The same woman who knows life is a gift and time is short - I promise to live right by my kids and to stay true to my heart.  I will spend more time for me and less time worrying about the small things. 

Happy 2013 - may it bring love and happiness everyday of the year!