damn doors

"When one door closes another one opens...."

a common saying

sometimes a new door opens without the old one closing. it is easy to walk thru the door when you are forced to as the closing door hits you on the ass and shoves you thru ... but what do you do when you have the choice? as you stand in the door way and try to see beyond the threshold how do you know whether you should stay or go?

one monumental choice can have such a rippling effect as you are propelled into a new life, new people, different places. how can you be sure you are on the right path? how do you know the new door has more to offer than the old? and once you make the leap ... can you ever go back? should you want to go back?

the next question is what do you do when an old door reopens? what if you've been out of the old door way for so long you forgot all it holds on the other side? as you gaze at the light coming from within ... you strain to see familiar sights... you smell familiar smells... you feel familiar feelings ... but can you remember all the reasons you let the door close? and if you do would the same things drive you away or have you changed/grown enough that all the crazy things would be insignificant now? and what new unforeseen obstacles await?

why do we, as adults, have to analyze every possible outcome of a decision? why do we have to play each scenario in our minds to try to outwit destiny? why can a young adult follow their heart? why is it we can only take a leap of faith when we are young?

you'd think experience would leave us to value the simple pleasures of a warm touch, a passionate kiss, a knowing glance instead of fearing a cold shoulder, a broken heart, or a look of disappointment.

oh how i wish my crystal ball wasn't broken...