It's been one of those days ....

Have you had a day when you didn't know what to say? Have you had a day when it seems things turn out the wrong way? It's been one of those days...

All right, in all honesty it's not that bad ... but when you let your guard down and are suddenly blindsided with 'life' it can humble you just a bit. One simple action ... a reaction to an action ... can cause such a swell of emotion that floods your senses and makes it difficult to breathe. It is as if the ground beneath me has turned to sand and it is rapidly slipping out from under me.

I miss my mom today ... I have so many questions ... so much to say ... and only she'd understand. She'd know what to say to give me back my confidence ... my control. She'd know how to get me back to solid ground. But she is not here ... and I must once again figure it all out on my own. I know this gives me strength and builds character ... but today I wonder ...

I've learned that I'm strong and I can do it. I can conquer the world! I've finally learned and accepted that it's OK to take care of myself and to do things for me ... and yet when life catches me off guard I find myself questioning all my decisions.

I wish I knew all the right things to say. I wish for one day that was completely carefree ... one day without responsibility, without conflict, without worry.

I am thankful for the gifts in my life ... for my children and for the people who love me. I suppose I just needed a moment to let some of this out ... to tell mom how much I still need her... to let go of some helplessness so that I could continue my journey ... continue the climb ... to be able to get back on track and take control back!!

It's been one of those days ...

But it's OK. I'm OK. And it's because of these days I can truly appreciate every day!