You won't answer

I’ve reached for the phone half a dozen times and then I remember you won’t answer. There is so much to share with you … the kids are so big. They really are gifts from heaven.

Ian started 2nd grade. He is amazing at reading and is quite the little math whiz. He is getting ready for his first communion and has started correcting me when I slip with a bad word. He is still the best cuddle bug and incredibly protective of his little sis’.

Anna has begun pre-school and tells me everyday that she is a big girl now. She loves putting on her back pack (that is as big as her) to go to school with Ianbug. To tell you she is independent would be a gross understatement. I use to think I was in charge in the house … I have been put in my place by the real princess. She starts dance class on Tuesday and will have her first recital in December.

I can see your smile now as you beam with pride with both their accomplishments.

I wish I could feel your arms around me one more time … I wish I could look into your eyes one more time … oh there are so many questions I still need to ask.

It’s been two years … can you believe it? You’d never know it from the looks of the house. Your keys still hang on the wall … your night gown is still on the hook in bedroom. The last letter you ever opened is covered in dust on your dresser.

It is so hard without you … I never realized how much strength I gained from you when you were here. I am sorry for unspoken words and I really hope you know how much I love you … and that I can now see how much you sacrificed for me and I hope you know how grateful I am.

I hope you have found happiness and your place among the angels. You are such a pure and loving soul and should have a special place in heaven … you have earned your time for peace. I miss you so much …

Two years ago you left mom … and I think of you everyday … it is said that time heals … I wish the amount of time had been pre-defined.