Why is it we need to be reminded?

Why is it that it takes a tragedy, the loss of a life, to remind us how precious our time on Earth is? How do we become so busy with day to day life, so obsessed with chasing the ever elusive dollar that we forget to stop for a moment to savor the sweetness of life?

We do not know what tomorrow will bring… we do not know when our time here will be finished … and yet we race through life at record speed as if the first person to cross the finish line wins … when in fact it is the last who wins.

A good friend that I worked with lost his life on August 1st. He was only 46 years old. Tonight was his memorial service … and as I listened to his family speak of his kindness, his zest for life, all his wonderful qualities my mind was flooded with countless thoughts. I could not stop myself from thinking these crazy thoughts … When my time to leave comes, who will weep for me? Who will be saddened by my absence? In that moment I felt completely isolated and alone. I know my children will miss me … I know I am a good mother … but it was all the other relationships (or better said the lack of) that brought on a profound sadness … My brother will not stand and talk of our love … there is no sister to tell a funny (perhaps embarrassing) story … no father … no mother … no spouse/lover. Words can not describe the loneliness that one feels in that moment.

If you know me at all … if you’ve been any part of my life … then you know I am blessed with the most amazing friends … so close we are almost family. I take great comfort from knowing they are there. I know and can say without hesitation that I can call on them at any hour and if I ask they are there. But it is a fact that some burdens are reserved for family. The heavy lifting … if you will. Or the so mundane that one would not trouble a friend, busy with her own family, but unspoken obligation falls to a family member. This is the ‘aloneness’ that I refer to. How do I overcome this?

I am fiercely independent but not because I have something to prove … not even because I want to be … but because I have to be. There is no one else so I have to be. I have to show my children how to be strong … how to charge on in life … and yet I am so weary from standing tall … and I wish for a reprieve. A moment to break down … I long for a day I do not have to because someone else did.

So as I say goodbye to a friend and re-live the loss of my champion, the one always in my corner … no matter what … as I still strive to find some peace with the loss of my mom I can only hold on to the hope that good things come to those who wait ... That my rainbow is just around the next corner … that this mountain I am climbing will be conquered soon.

I will find away to move past the pain … and will take note in the sobering reminder that we must enjoy each moment … make our time count … enjoy the quality of life and let the quantity work itself out.

The Measure of a Man

~ Author Unknown ~

Not – How did he die?

But – How did he live?

Not – What did he gain?

But – What did he give?

These are the things

That measure the worth
Of a man as a man,

regardless of birth.

Not – What was his station?

But – Had he a heart?

And – How did he play

His God-given part?

Was he ever ready

with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile,

to banish a tear?

Not – What was his church?

Not – What was his creed?
But – Had he befriended

Those really in need?

Not – What did the sketch

In the newspaper say?
But – How any were sorry

When he passed away?

These are the things

That measure the worth
Of a man as a man,

Regardless of birth.